the importance of finding people who get you

This past weekend I had the opportunity to visit Cappadocia, a historical region of Turkey located in Central Anatolia. It was supposed to be bomb, but it turned out to be a COMPLETE shit-show (cue 80 drunken individuals you don’t know + 16hr bus-rides…yeah). However, it did lead to one awesome occurrence: I MET NORMAL PEOPLE.

That’s right y’all – I’ve been liberated from the biddy vortex! No more shallow conversations, no more bouts of amnesia that occur whenever something racist happens to me, no more forced laughter!

(Note: Biddy defined: shallow girls, who tend to be Caucasian)

So on this trip to hell, I bonded with a group of really awesome/smart/hilarious girls who fully appreciate how MORONIC the other exchange students are. As a group, we just meshed really well and were able to talk about an array of topics, such as:

(a) Parks and Rec; 30 Rock: I’ve come to find that watching similar TV shows as somebody tends to be an indication of compatibility

(b) Cultural Appropriation: If you can discuss how fucked up cultural appropriation is with somebody, you’re pretty much friends for life

(c) Jokes: these girls are legitimately hilarious – we cracked jokes on the majority of the trip

Overall, these girls pretty much saved me. Two interesting things were happening to me when I met them:

(a) I had perfected faking to be ‘happy’ –> mainly as a survival tactic as I was under the impression that I had no other choice

(b) On the other hand, in those moments when I was by myself and had even a fraction of a second to reflect on my experience in Istanbul thus far, I would be confronted with feelings of intense resentment + irritation with the people I’ve been spending time with

What I found to be especially interesting was my reaction when I finally met people I liked. Essentially what happened was that ALL (and I mean ALL y’all) the feelings I had repressed throughout the past two weeks came bubbling back up to the surface. This allowed to me to fully process the fact that I absolutely loathed most of the ladies I had been spending time with – and made a vow NOT to surround myself with them any longer.

Let me note: the girls I had been hanging out with are not bad people per say, but they are (in many ways) ignorant-ass mutherfuckers who do not deserve my time or energy.

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Side-note: Yesterday I also had the chance to have dinner with the only other black girl on exchange at Bogazici, and she’s an absolute doll! She’s hilarious and has a British accent – so I’m pretty much sold. We had a much-needed black-girl bonding sesh – and she was able to give me a pretty interesting perspective on race relations in Istanbul. She was in Argentina last summer and told me that the attention you received for being black was FAR more aggressive and intense – so in comparison Istanbul has been pretty chill. Either way, we both came to the conclusion that you pretty much just have to do you – cause there’s nothing else you can do. It was really nice speaking to someone who fully understood what my experience in Istanbul has been like so far! #thestruggle

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All in all, I’m starting to feel like MYSELF again, after a two-week period of traumatizing fuckery. Allah always has my back, and I feel SO SO grateful he allowed me to meet people who I like, and like me in return. I have a strong feeling things will be looking up in the next few weeks y’all.

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Let me conclude this post with a song break – Aye by Davido has been THE TUNE for the past 24 hours. The joyful beat of this track fully embodies my happiness at being liberated from damn fools!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZ-_HIoEBE8

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